Kidney donation

Ok…. So it has been forever since I have been on here, let’s just say a lot has happened in the mean time.

I’m struggling like hell with the weight issue… I’ve been working out and trying to watch what I eat and what time I eat at night.

Now that that’s off my chest, there are other things that have been going on…  The spring semester at  school ended for me and I made the Dean’s list. (Good thing, because I really need to keep my scholarships).  One of my husband and I’s good friends is really sick.  He had a kidney transplant around 9 years ago from his dad and around December of last year, his kidney started failing.  He is now on dialysis 4 times a day and really not feeling well.  Everyone in his family tested, because the first time he needed one they were all a match, but now because he has his dad’s kidney things in his body changed and he isn’t a match with anyone in his family.  I thought that I would go and get tested, little did I realize that I would be a match.  Everyone was excited and then the process of a huge physical, lots of bloodwork and social worker interviews later, I’m cleared to be a living donor.

I’m really excited to be helping out our friend, but I am a little nervous.  We really wanted to have this done in July, but because of doctors vacations, etc the hospital was unable to help us out with this.  I am missing the second week of school (luckily all of my teachers have given me the ok) and praying to be able to go back the following week.  This is I guess what makes me the most nervous, I don’t want to get behind in nursing school because it’s so hard to get caught back up and another big thing is I wanted to really lay low.  I didn’t want people to know that I was the one donating to our friend, but he posted it and now everyone in our town knows.  Why does it bother me?  I don’t know I just like to be me and I’m not comfortable with myself as it is.  Now I have people come up to me and thank me and tell me I’m doing a selfless thing.  I just see it as helping a good friend, I would like to think that a lot of people would do the same thing.

Then in the middle of all this…we are trying to adopt.  We were doing the foster to adopt thing and I think I mentioned before that we tried for over two years without success, but after searching and talking to numerous adoption agencies we have decided on one and started the process.  The whole birthmother letter and writing our profile is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  It is CRAZY! So we had to hire someone to help us, which I guess is somewhat normal.  I’m not getting any younger and my husband is an amazing dad to my kids, I would love to raise a child with him but my body just can’t do that anymore.

Back to the kidney…After all the bloodwork I found out that I’m healthy for the most part, but my cholesterol is a little high.  This runs in our family and that was part of the reason that I have been working on my weight, because I don’t want to end up on medication like everyone else in my family.  For all of you out there trying to lose weight, I’m right there with you to say it SUCKS.  It feels like you take two steps forward and ten steps back.  I hate the way that I look, we are on vacation and I refuse to be in the pictures because I feel disgusting.  It’s 99 degrees out and I’m wearing jeans, I feel gross.  I have gained over 30 pounds in the last three years.  Doctors tell me that a large part is due to all the medication i was on due to my migraines.  Well I haven’t been on anything for the last year and it’s not coming off.  I feel like my husband doesn’t even look at me the same way.  I way 168 pounds and he weighs 130, I feel like Shamu the whale next to him.

So for those of you that have been wondering if I fell off the face of the earth, I haven’t I’m just in the middle of these two huge things: living donor and adoption.  I will keep you posted, but as of right now the donation is scheduled for August, praying that somehow they can do it in July or early August.  Hoping to have our adoption profile finished by the middle of July as well.

Words to live by: You only live once so make it count

Be the Better Person

I know that it has been awhile since I’ve had a post, but I have had numerous things going on over the last week. I think one of the biggest things happened last Friday.  My daughter came home from work and asked me, “now mom if I tell you something you’re not going to get mad are you?” I told her that I couldn’t make any promises but I would do the best that I could do. She went on to tell me that one of the girls she works with (my daughter works with my husband at a sporting goods store) told her that Judy another woman that works there told her that I’m a drug addict! What the hell? For those of you just reading this for the first time, I suffer from Chronic Migraines after I had a plate put in my neck due to a car accident. I’ve been to Diamond Headache Clinic in Chicago (would not recommend to anyone), been to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota (they were wonderful, but couldn’t afford to keep driving out there), now I’m at the U of M in Michigan and they started out pretty good but I have like 6 doctors and my main doctor hasn’t been returning any phone calls. I’ve had botox, facet injections, and recently had my nerves cauterized on one side of my neck trying to get some control over them. I’ve never been on narcotics, hell I even tried accupuncture and meditation. I am at the ER sometimes twice a month because I can barely speak or move because the pain is so bad.  Yes I do end up getting an injection, if that makes me a drug addict well than I guess I am.  So for this lady to say I’m a drug addict really pissed me off.
The real kicker of the whole thing is that my husband was sitting there and said, “oh yeah I heard about that a couple weeks ago.” And I said “well did you say something to Judy?” Nope he sure didn’t. My name is getting ran through the mud by a moron you work with and you don’t say anything? What the hell?
So as any calm individual does I found her on Facebook and sent her a message, basically telling her I don’t appreciate her running her mouth about me, because she has no idea what I go through or even what I’m like. Within 5 minutes she called the boss, who then called my husband and a meeting was set for
Saturday morning. Judy wasn’t there, because they wanted to hear everyone’s story and then a decision would be made. No I wasn’t there because its not my job….
This Tuesday rolls around and Judy comes to work and threatens to quit and then decides she will stick it out, but the boss out her on probation and she was supposed to tell my family she was sorry for spreadig rumors about me.  Has it happened it happened yet? Hell no. Am I still pissed? Yes, I’m mad as hell at my husband for still not saying something to her. He won’t lose his job, the least he could say us, “hey you know I don’t appreciate the things you’ve been saying about my wife.” Enough said.
So maybe I shouldn’t be upset with him, but I’m furious and it’s put this huge wedge between us.

On a positive note my 9 year old son has been working out with me at night and it’s been a lot of fun.

Am I blowing this out of proportion or do I have a right to be mad?  There’s only 9 people.that work at this store and Judy only works 2 days a week.