Ok…. So it has been forever since I have been on here, let’s just say a lot has happened in the mean time.
I’m struggling like hell with the weight issue… I’ve been working out and trying to watch what I eat and what time I eat at night.
Now that that’s off my chest, there are other things that have been going on… The spring semester at school ended for me and I made the Dean’s list. (Good thing, because I really need to keep my scholarships). One of my husband and I’s good friends is really sick. He had a kidney transplant around 9 years ago from his dad and around December of last year, his kidney started failing. He is now on dialysis 4 times a day and really not feeling well. Everyone in his family tested, because the first time he needed one they were all a match, but now because he has his dad’s kidney things in his body changed and he isn’t a match with anyone in his family. I thought that I would go and get tested, little did I realize that I would be a match. Everyone was excited and then the process of a huge physical, lots of bloodwork and social worker interviews later, I’m cleared to be a living donor.
I’m really excited to be helping out our friend, but I am a little nervous. We really wanted to have this done in July, but because of doctors vacations, etc the hospital was unable to help us out with this. I am missing the second week of school (luckily all of my teachers have given me the ok) and praying to be able to go back the following week. This is I guess what makes me the most nervous, I don’t want to get behind in nursing school because it’s so hard to get caught back up and another big thing is I wanted to really lay low. I didn’t want people to know that I was the one donating to our friend, but he posted it and now everyone in our town knows. Why does it bother me? I don’t know I just like to be me and I’m not comfortable with myself as it is. Now I have people come up to me and thank me and tell me I’m doing a selfless thing. I just see it as helping a good friend, I would like to think that a lot of people would do the same thing.
Then in the middle of all this…we are trying to adopt. We were doing the foster to adopt thing and I think I mentioned before that we tried for over two years without success, but after searching and talking to numerous adoption agencies we have decided on one and started the process. The whole birthmother letter and writing our profile is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It is CRAZY! So we had to hire someone to help us, which I guess is somewhat normal. I’m not getting any younger and my husband is an amazing dad to my kids, I would love to raise a child with him but my body just can’t do that anymore.
Back to the kidney…After all the bloodwork I found out that I’m healthy for the most part, but my cholesterol is a little high. This runs in our family and that was part of the reason that I have been working on my weight, because I don’t want to end up on medication like everyone else in my family. For all of you out there trying to lose weight, I’m right there with you to say it SUCKS. It feels like you take two steps forward and ten steps back. I hate the way that I look, we are on vacation and I refuse to be in the pictures because I feel disgusting. It’s 99 degrees out and I’m wearing jeans, I feel gross. I have gained over 30 pounds in the last three years. Doctors tell me that a large part is due to all the medication i was on due to my migraines. Well I haven’t been on anything for the last year and it’s not coming off. I feel like my husband doesn’t even look at me the same way. I way 168 pounds and he weighs 130, I feel like Shamu the whale next to him.
So for those of you that have been wondering if I fell off the face of the earth, I haven’t I’m just in the middle of these two huge things: living donor and adoption. I will keep you posted, but as of right now the donation is scheduled for August, praying that somehow they can do it in July or early August. Hoping to have our adoption profile finished by the middle of July as well.
Words to live by: You only live once so make it count