The Battle of the Bulge....

I hate diets.  I never really had to worry about my weight growing up, I was always pretty slender.  Then I started getting migraines after I had a plate put in my neck and that’s when the weight gain started.  I was on so many different pills that I was craving everything under the sun.  I’m talking about shit that I wouldn’t normally eat, like pickles with chocolate.  NASTY!  My pills would change and my weight would fluctuate, up and down, up and down.

Well it’s four years later and I’m still up and down, but today I went to the doctor’s for injections into my neck to see if that would relieve some of my migraines (I get about 3 or 4 a week).  My husband is carrying my purse and the nurse tells me to step on the scale (my husband weighs maybe 125 pounds, he is super skinny and eats like crazy) anyway, I tell my husband to go on the other side of the wall.  What woman wants her husband to see how much she really weighs?  The nurse says loudly “Ok 165 this time.”  Embarrassment, shame, shock, all these things are going through my mind, because I know my husband heard it as well, but it was the fact that there it was no going down, but still going up.  I try to exercise several times a week, but because of my migraines there are times that I can’t do it.  I try to control my portions and not eat late, but obviously I’m slipping somewhere.

My kids are getting older and I hate having my pictures taken with them, I feel like a blob… So instead of saying I’m going to do something about it, I NEED to do something about it.  I look at my mom and dad and all the problems that they have had (heart disease, cholesterol, COPD, stints put in because of blockages) I know I need to do it.

Where am I going to start?  Good question, because I’m sure there are so many of us that have tried diets and failed.  Tried exercising and stopped, but there has to be a way to change the way we think about food, etc.  I bought the Rockin Body DVDs and started with those last week and you know how they have people come on and show their before and after pictures?  Well there are people that were over 200 pounds doing these DVD’s and I’m not kidding you I put one in and got maybe 1/3 of the way through it before I quit.  I could barely breath, I couldn’t move and I was tripping over my own feet.  Needless to say it was not pretty.  But I thought about it last night, everyone has to start somewhere.  Obviously my dance moves have turned into an ugly mess over the last several years, but I have to start somewhere.

My goal for this month is to lose 8 pounds for this month, March.  Tomorrow I will get on my scale, with no clothes on and see what my weight is and then I will work from there.  I have to put it down in writing so that I can hold myself to this.  It’s not just about the weight….I want to feel good about myself, I want to take pictures with my family and not see the blob that I am seeing now, I want to live a long and healthy life.

So, hopefully tomorrow I will be able to tell you, how  much I weigh and what I’m doing to reach this goal.  I thought about posting a picture of just me and how I look now, so that it forces me to realize that this is where I’m at…humility I guess, but maybe it will force me to stay on top of things.

I’m interested if anyone has any tips, things that have worked for you?  Advice, anything really.